Now Playing Tracks

My Story…

Okay well, this is my story… My name is Olivia. I am 15 and will be turning 16 in December. I have been experiencing depression ever since I turned 14. It all started when my bestfriend started cutting. I didn’t even know what that was considering I was in the 7th grade. I had no idea. Well, she told me everything it was and how to do it and when to do it, she made it sound as if it was normal and perfectly fine. Well, I didn’t even think of doing it until the 8th grade. I was forced to go to a school I didn’t want to go to, new people who were different then me, but I had to go because my sister was bullied terribly and needed me. My first day was rough, nobody cared I was there, or even wanted to know of my exsistance. It was hard, everyone said I was weird and ugly and not good enough… Then at school a girl punched me in the face because of the rumors people spoke of me and broke my nose. I didn’t fight back, I just fell to the ground and cried as people pulled her away as she cussed and called me awful names. I didn’t even know her name. I started cutting myself. On my wrist. People called me a pussy, coward, and whip for backing down. A video of it was posted on Facebook and got many likes. It had comments like “Should’ve kept going” and “Dumb bitch backing down, you go girl”. I cut even more. Afterwards, a couple months later I stopped and started bringing a journal everywhere I went to fix my depression. Well, I left it in class one day and someone who hated me took it and preached it to everyone. People would laugh at me and mock me and treat me as if I was the worst person in the world. I would just get bullied and made fun of and people just hated me. I cut and cut. Then realized that people noticed that too and made fun of me. Laughing and calling me “emo” and “stupid”. So I started cutting on my ankle freshman year and people haven’t noticed or cared. Which made me happy. This year I do not only cut my ankle and wrist, but starve myself.

I had found this guy this year and he has been so kind and special. I know he will leave me, because of my depression. He only is supporting me because that is what boyfriends are suppose to do. He doesn’t care and I know it. He only wants to cure me because of my appearance… Sadly, that’s all he cares about… How Iook to other people. To this day i’m struggling with depression. People call me “Shmuel” from the boy in the stripped pajamas”. Yes it hurts, and I know I will get through my depression someday, someway. I just need to push through and am attempting the butterfly challenge. Hopefully, it will change my Life.

We make Tumblr themes